tday..my darling had his new car..sadly enough..i wasn't d 1st one in it..haiz..
when days goes by..feeling more n more tired..of waiting...waiting for the day..you will remember..to do something for me..w/o me being have to open my mouth n ask... i wonder..why do guys..have this problem..of recognising..the importance..of doing even the slightly ting for those whom they claimed they love..don't you guys know that by doing small small things..would have meant the whole lot difference for that person? i'm tired of waiting for that day to come...coz it appears that it would never happen.. theres no point..to hide real emotion in here...afriad of letting people see what's realli inside of me..coz that'll just defeat the whole purpose of blogging..well..right now..i felt..being forgottened..and it is somehting..that i'm feeling all this while.. life goes on..with or without what ever that i view as important..guess i'll just have to deal with it and move on.. Its just me..my loneliness and harry potter now.... *getting use to loneliness in progress..*_1.jpg)
...REunIon... Woo..toDay meT up With D giRls..SEcOndARy sChoOl budDIes..Wah..sO lonG nv sEe LinG lIao..Hehe fINally sAw hEr..MisS thE gooD oLd timEs... loVe yA gIrLs...FrieNds FOreVeR n evEr Okie? =) N in cAse yOu alL comE viSit Moi Blog..tIs is d besT i caN comE up with coz i'M so MucH of a COmputEr idiOt..LOL...N leAvE mi MSg msG okie?
It would JusT never be the same...those school days..those youth..and innocence..had already lost..in time...
wonder..WheN wiLl i AchIEvE my Dream..wHen wIll You fiNaLlY undErsTand..WheN wiLl i bE Loved..agAin...
woO...it has been raining for days...so happie...coz so cold cold...go out time..feel like as if i'm back home...back at taiwan..hehe
Its actually amazing..how much i felt so attached to that place...even though i've been here for almost 11 yrs now...i still longing to return there..even just for a whil.e..hehe...guess...i realli miss home..there...has the memories of home...everyday after school..go home...can see people waiting at home..asking to eat..watch tv together...haIz...just that it will nv be d same animore..
Everytime..when i'm at my da's house...i feel the family love..that they have for each other..even though da would always disturbs his bro shaney boi..haha..they just look so loving...n some times..i feel...so out of place...i would feel that i'm intruding..people's privacy...going into people's family..n donnoe for wad...they are very nice..realli very nice to me...treat me as if i'm like their daughter...they feel proud of me..when i excel in something...n i'm really greatful..n thankful for their love...coz...they don't really need to be that nice..they are not really obligated to be nice to me..but they do...which really warms my heart...
Family love..people tend to take for granted..coz you could see them everyday..so when someone nags at you..you'll lose temper n all...just wait till one day that someone is gone..perhaps..you'll feel like me...
I know exactly why i miss my family so much...coz it is the only place..where i'll be loved..doted on...no matter what i did...n i would no need to prove myself just in order to be loved..
i'm MisSing hOme...terribly...
WaH..So Long nv Blog..LOl..coZ kindA leaD a boring Life..whIning..dOesn'T reaLly heLp mucH..LOL
Recently..realise something terrible..that i'm just not strong..LOL have absolutly no idea..why do i cry so easily..its kinda worrying me..is it signs of depression? or just purely lack of security? HahA...
DonNoe whY fEeLinG So insEcuRed..ProbaBly comIng froM those diSturBing nIteMaRes..HAha..d Most rEceNt One..i dreaMt thaT i gaVe birTh!! LOL to A rEAl cuTe baBy GIrL..weLl cAN still rem how happie i was in my dream..coz i finally felt that there are someone..who really belongs to me...that i can spend whole heart..loving..and i knoe..i'll stand an irreplacable place in d heart...hehe...sounds cute rite?...but d nitemare part is...i dreamt..i was carrying her in my arms...n d next moment..i started bleeding..and died...!!!!(*#%*$(^@~@!# LOL..How WEriD WAs that?..Hehe...Ppl sAY..dREamS nOrmaLlY..doNt rEAllI comE true..But actually..it refLects your deepest fear, desire..and those true emotions..N i'm StarTing to believe in it..I do wan to have a baby...its okie..if who ever the father is going to be..will not be there..i'lL do my very best to gif my child a home....Haha..aBit weird for a person who's my age saying abt all this...*lol* i may look strong..independent...but guess.. all these dreams...are just telling me that i'm just afraid..of losing..the ones that i love so dearly...and longing...for a family and someone..to love me..some one...to dote on me..that i can no longer need to be strong..for that person..would shelter me...
i'm stiLl searching...buT i sinCerely hope..that you aRe the one...reaLli..i'M back FrOm SHaNg Hai~ hEHe..It WAsn'T so gLamourous As i tot it wOulD bE..BuT neWay..iT waS BetA thaN most othEr paRts of cHina..Hehe..
BoT thiS BooK at the AirPorT beFore i LEft.."the five people you meet in heaven" by Mitch Albom..yup i Knoe itS aN oLd bOok..BuT it's NevErthELess..a NiCe bOok..
"all endings are also beginnings. We just dont know it at the time.."
a Life's eNd..wouLd haVe beEn a nEw beGinNing in heaven? i thInk i belieVe thaT..When eAch oF us diE..I hoPe thERE arE reAllY theSe 5 PersoNs in heAven..tHAt we'lL meEt..And thEY'lL exPlaiN to Us..wHAt was the MeaninGs oF our LivEs..aNd WHy ARe wE gOinG thRough thE thingS thaT we are ExperienCing...
"We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade and those harm we do..we do to ourselves..."
Hatred...is such a strong emotion..i believed that you need to first love the thing/person very much..before you hate them. Hate includes emotions like jealousy, envious, or just pure dislike. I also hated people..but it is realli eating me up from inside..no one else would have felt the pain..except urself..anD i REaLly fEeLs the ErOsIon..whIch MakEs mE haTed evEn More...FOrgiveness..is the greatest art on earth..which seemed as if its the most unattainable thing..however..precious..Its only through forgiveness..we can feel peace..happiness..true happiness i mean..i'M tryiNg my best..jusT thaT thinK i'lL HavE to worK a LitTle haRdER to AchiEve thaT staTe of tRUe haPpinEss..=)
FeLt so mUch insPirEd by MitcH ALbOm..reaD aLl hiS bOoks..From "tueSday witH Morris", to this and his latest book.."For JusT oNE MorE dAy"..i've LeaRnT the LEsSOn of Life..tHrouGh his woRK..juSt HoPe thaT iT wOuLd haVe BeEN carRieD Out..aS hoW it shOulD bE..aNd hOpE goD..WouLd sENd tHe 5 PersOns thAT i'm SuPposE to meet wHEn i dIe..tO eXPlaIn tO mE..THe MEaNing of My ExisTenCe..aNd thE ReaSon for My LovE TO yOu...
...It's D Day...
LeaVing fOR ShaNghaI tMl..FeEL so fUnNy..cOz KeEP fLyinG..LOL..KinDa sAd..But JUSt gO for a fEw days de..THinK aLsO GOoD..TakE a bReaK..fROm all tHe meSs hERe..
ThiS MorNing wOkE up with d sAme tYpe oF nIghTmaRe agAin..Lucky DreAms aRe aLwaYs d Opp Of reAliTy..wHicH meANs tHat yoU'lL AlwAYs Be theRe wiTH me..I'm StaRtinG to ForGive..EvEN thOugH it neEds tIme.. If Not..What wiLl haTRed maKe mE? SaMe aS Tt PerSOn? LOL If it's sUpPosE to bE minE..wIth tRUsT..wE cOuLd go FUrTHer..I BELieVe..In fAte..DeStiny..N my dEstinY..is yOu..For tT perSOn..i JusT hOpe thAT CouLd rEAlisE soOnER n LAtEr..fiNd her oWn happinEss..Coz Her haPpineSs..dOes Not lIes iN ouR haNds..onE oLd fRIend toLd Me..We mUst LEt go 1sT beFOre ANithinG gOoD wOUlD coMe..i BeLieVe evEryonE dEserVe theiR truE Love..N i'M so glaD thaT wE haVe FOund eAch OTheR...
TakeCARe my DaRLing..wHen i'M aWAy..DUn Do nonSEnsE thinGs ok? LOL..i'Ll AlwayS thinK of yoU whEN u aRe not w mE...MisS yA aLreaDY..~ *hugZ* sEe ya WHeN i'M baCK~ Luv ya..
...Our SOng...
d SOnG..tHat'lL fOrEvER Be tHERe...COz iTs OuR sOng =)
ActuAllY..FEeLing EMo Now..SAd..cRyInG eVeRy dAy fOr SOme DreaMs tHat jUSt SO sEeMs tHat iS sO fAr fAr aWAY fROm Me..ALl i Wan to SAY..JusT LovE N FeeL Love..ENjOy evERy MomeNt whEN u aRe inLove..FOr aLl U knOe..WHen it'lL bE gOne..fReakiNg HElL..tiRed..Guess...NeXt tIme On My wIsh List..WOuLd Be..To sLeEp fOreVer..~ NiTez Peepz..